TIGER DOWN, TIGER DOWN

I feel that as an American citizen it is my duty to step forward and reveal that it was me and not tiger Woods wife who escaped in the golf cart. My accomplice lives in NYC and is a top-notch hostess to only the rich and famous plus a few busboys who will go unmentioned because I don't speak Spanish. They are nice lads who do not want to be on TMZ. I have provided a photo sent to me by an anonymous source of a woman who might have been hiding in the palm tree's . We don't think she has anything to do with this mysterious event we just like the way she looks. The golden rule of advertising-SEX SELLS. If anyone knows who this woman is please call us at

1-800-whocares, someone in the Bush administration thinks she lives in Denton ,Texas and works at Dimples Donuts. This whole Tiger thing could overshadow who really killed Jimmy Hoffa-stay tuned.

G8